Thursday, December 8, 2011

On the fence

I have until January to make a decision if i will be staying with my current job.
I'm on the fence.

Some days i'm like "Let's start packing" and others are like "maybe I can tough it one more year".

The pro facts are :
  • I have a great job that I enjoy. 
  • The staff is really nice and we all get along.
  • In the long run, I might have a chance of taking over the business.
  • I work and live mostly in French which is nice.

The against fatcs are :
  • I hate Sturgeon falls, it is a retirement town.
  • I have no friends or life here (and I have tried)
  • My family is close but yet too far to just see them when I feel like it. I miss them.
  • My job offers no benefits or assurance coverage.
  • The pay won't be as better as i thought because of the small intake we get, the boss can't pay all that much more for the staff.
  • Did i mention I hate living in a village?

I feel like my professional and personal life are at war, and I don't know what to do.
If i stay, I have a good job....but i'm miserable when I'm not at work.
But if I go, will I be able to find a job just a good AND be happy in my personal life?
It doesn't mean I can get both....but it doesn't mean I can't either.

I keep thinking that I want to go back home (Barrie) because that's where my family is and a couple of friends. It's a big enough town that I can do things if i wanted too when I want too (at least stores don't close at 5pm there) and I can visit friends or family even after a day of work, even if it's for only an hour.
I could have someone to do things with rather then doing everything on my own all the time.
I have better chance of meeting someone that as graduated from highschool, heck from College at least and has better ambition and goals then going for a 4x4 drive in the mud.

I just feel like a recluse where I am now. I love going to work, but I dread going back home for fear of boredom and depression. I recently joined the gym and I have tried to make friends with some of the girls in the classes...but when I try to talk with them, it's as if they are afraid of talking to strangers and just shrug off my attempts to befriend them.Everyone my age are gone to bigger cities, the ones that stayed are welfare, 3 kids, alcool and drugs people.The ones I meet that are O.K, are too busy with their own life to try to include me and when we are together, we have nothing in common because they have never gotten out of the village, for them North Bay is a huge city and exotic food is pan pizza. I've tried to find common grounds, but I'm tired of getting blank stares if I talk about things beside farms, snow and sturgeon falls' poutine.
How am I suppose to date anyone, if all the guys left here have barely graduated from Highschool and spend half the year in the woods hunting (yuck!)
I feel rather lonely here...but i'm happy at work.
But if i go back home, living cost will be bigger, work will be longer (bigger city, more calls) will I find a job that I enjoy as much or be stuck with people I hate working with?

So i have to give an answer on whether I will be staying or not in June.
Am I willing to sacrifice my good job in order to possibly escape depression and find another awesome job.

I was told People go through life hating their job, but I'm lucky  i have a job I love. To suck it up....

but that's the thing..I dread making the decision of staying any longer. I don't want to get sucked in into making my life here. Yes i love my job, but like I said....i'm lonely

should I just tough it up one more that more reasonable? Be a responsible adult, pay off my loan because the cost of living here is cheaper. Have the security of a job with people I already know. Won't have to relearn the ways things are done at a new place. take a easy way.

or should I just challenge myself of finding another suitable job. Perhaps move back home, or rent a crappy appartment in the city. Relearn the way of doing everything because they might do things differently. Meet new people and gain their trust. But have a life that doesn't revolve around work only.

I have to give my answer in 3 weeks.
Also if i am leaving, i need to start sending off my resume to other places in order to get considered for a job before they all hire interns.

I don't know anymore.
My voice of reason is just as confused as me...

The problem is that now I can't just run off to Japan to escape making decision about my future....i wish i could though.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Tuna's first visit!

On december 1st, my sister, her inlaws and my brand new niece came for a visit in Sturgeon Falls, where I live.
Since I live 3hrs away, I don't get to see her often, so I was very happy when they came.
We went for sushi, Tuna's first sushi experience lol
*btw Tuna is my niece's nickname

Then we went about in the village, mostly shopping at the only 2 shopping places we have : The bargain shop and Giant Tiger.

We finished the evening watching some Kanjani8 video and the 1st episode of Ikemen Desu ne (my sister hasn't seen it).

The sleep over to say ....difficult!
Tuna didn't want to sleep at all. She either too hot or too hungry.
she cried every half hour to be fed.
Not the best night!
We probably slept a whole 4 hrs.
We even went for a car ride at 1am to see if she would fall asleep...which she did, until we pulled back in my parking spot, then she woke up!
the next day, we went to North Bay Mall to do some Christmas shopping.
Then we said our goodbye since they had to hit the road back to Barrie.

It was a short visit, but it was good (minus the sleepless night....i love my sleep too much to have a kid now, i think).

She is getting so big fast! Next time i see her, might be for Christmas if the weather allows it!
She will be 2 months old by then!

Christmas is coming!

Well it's December 3rd.
On the 1st, we got hammered with a the first snow fall, all 20 cm!

On the 2nd it was the village's Santa Claus Parade.
It last 2 hrs, then everyone went down by the lake for fireworks.
Most cars in the parades where tractors with lights. Some of them had bonfires on their was kinda cool.

I joined a few of my collegue at the Funeral home where we had pizza for dinner and hot coco.
When the parade started, which goes by right infront of the funeral home, we all gathered at the front salon, where there is a huge window giving on the street.
So we watched the parade from the inside, by the christmas tree.
We also offered free hot coco to the people standing outside in the cold.

Then we all took the walk by the lake.

There was a huge bonfire and the new restaurant (who opened that very night) was giving out free hot dogs (but the line up was crazy! i swear the whole village was there!).
The fire works started around 830pm and lasted 1 hr.

It is officialy the Christmas season in the village now!

I have most of my Christmas shopping done.
I got something for my mom, Chris, my sister and Tristan.
I wanna get something small for my sister's inlaw family. But i don't know what.
It's just since they will be spending Christmas with us, I think i should get them something.
I thought of maybe a giftbasket with local foods in it. Cath?

My Christmas tree is done and the presents are wrapped.
Oh i need to get Ozzy-chan something too, since if the weather is not nice on Christmas weekend, I'm going to have to spend it alone with her. So i better get her something lol

Well that's about it.
Snow is here.
Santa came.
Presents are wrapped.
Hot coco is brewing.
Christmas is almost here!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Note to self

Get myself 2 scales!
1- For my food.
2- For myself.

My current self scale is an old one I got for 1$ at a garage sale. Unfortunetly, It is not 100% accurate. It's one of those  ruler scale, not digital. So i can't tell if I lose 0.5lbs or the likes. I can only round up the numbers.
Any idea where I could find 2 digital scales for a cheap price?

Sunday, November 6, 2011


This is stupid.
The fear of telephone.

But to a certain extend, I fear that I fear telephones.
It's not like I cry or start hyperventilating every time the phone rings....but my stress level rises up, myhands gets sweaty and my heart beats faster.
I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate the telephone.

It wasn't always like that. I mean, I never was much of a talker on the phone and didn't call people often, but lately I have realized that I get mild anxiety attacks every time the phone rings.

It's not so much when i'm calling. Because I know who I am calling.
But If i am calling a service number, without knowing who will be answering, I get reluctant and anxious to call.
Usually I would resort to asking my mom or sister to call the number for me.
"I wanna order pizza....oh you do it! call them for me, i gotta go do something" is usually what would happen.
Or thank gawd for online ordering!
If I have to call a company, i always go online to check if they don't offer "chatting" with one of them employee....this way I don't have to call them.
If they don't have that option, it usually takes me a few minutes with lots of convincing in order to pick up the phone and call the number...where i usually end up being stress the whole time of the conversation.
Then I hang up and realize I forgot to ask an important question or to give them an important informations, but i'm too nervous to call back and usually just think "I'll be ok, i don't need to know, maybe i'll find the answer on google" or "If they want to know, they will call back."

But having the phone ringing is WORSE! yes, all in capital letters!
Luckily, I got caller ID on my phone and voice mail...that helps, but not nearly enough.
When the phone rings, it creates a small anxiety attack, specially if I don't know who is calling...or if it's someone that don't usually call me.
Why are they call me? who is calling me?
Usually the phone rings for a while before I pick it up....thus missing the call 50% of the time, and listening to the message on my voice mail.

In my every day life, I don't feel like it is causing me problems. But in my work is difficult.
Even if we have a receptionist at work, sometimes I need to answer the phone.
Since working in a funeral home, we can't let the phone ring more then this is a challenge for me. I only got 2 rings to gather my courage up and pick up the phone, not knowing who is calling and why they are calling.
If we get a death call (a call informing us that someone passed away), i have to ask questions to the person calling....but it always results in me forgetting to ask some of the questions, even if I have a list of all the questions and information I need to ask in front of me.  I get nervous because I didn't hear their name properly, or they are emotional on the other side, making me nervous to ask questions, or they are talking too much and I lose track of where we are. Or they are talking too fast and i'm to scared to have them repeat 3-4 times because I didn't understand what they said.
Then there is the fear of not knowing if the person calling will be speaking in french or english. I gotta switch my brain back and forth for that. Even if i consider myself fluent and I have been speaking both languages daily for 12 still stressed me out when i'm on the phone.
And then, twice a wekk i'm on call...which means, the work phone is being transfer on to the company's cell phone, and I have that phone with me and I must answer the phone at all time.
This is probably the worse days of my weeks.
I stay at home with the phone in my hand, not doing anything, not having music or tv on, in the fear of missing a call. I usually have a pen and paper beside me, to take notes if the phone rings.
At night, I wake up every hour to check the phone to make usre I didn't miss a call.
During the day if the phone doesn't ring, I check the phone every 15 minutes, just to make sure it is still on.
I call the funeral home, just to make sure I transfered the calls properly onto that cell phone.
When someone calls, I get nervous, my mind blanks when they ask questions. I panik if I don't have the answer.
It's a mess really.
I hate phones!

The only time I am not nervous about phones is if it's my sister or mom calling, or if I have to call them.
Because I know it's them, and I know that there wont be akward silences (usually my sister says :I got nothing else to talk about. So i'm hanging up, bye")
Even if I have to call my friend, it takes me a while to dial their numbers. What if I am disturbing them. What if they are not in the mood to talk, or they are about to leave. What if they are not home and someone else picks up.

All these are stupid. I am aware of that.
I don't know why I am so scared.
It's just a telephone. It's not gonna eat me, or hurt me.
I'm not puting my life in danger when I answer a call.....
So why am I so scared of it.
If I could see who I was talking too...maybe it wouldn't be so hard.

Hi, I'm Marie and I am a Telephonophobic.
Just don't call me...I probably won't answer.

I'm working on it. Like I said, I got caller ID on my phone. So i know who is calling, if i don't recognized the number, I let it go to my voicemail.
At work, I try to answer the phone whenever it rings...usually once a day I can do it.
I also started calling other people, like the hospitals or churches.
I have to do that, it's part of my job. I need to be able to answer the phone in a calm manner, and to be abel to call people in order to book the receptions, churches, cemeteries...ect.
I'm working on it slowly....but I still HATE being on call (like i am today)
The phone is in my hand as I am typing this crazy is that?

Here's what wiki has to say :

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


On October 24th, 2011, at 12:53pm, my big sister gave birth to my first niece : Hudson Sulian P.C.
7lbs , 18 inches and healthy baby girl

Born from an Asian father and a Caucasian mother,with her dark hair. squinting eyes and little nose, she is the splitting image of her dad.
I have to be bias and say she is probably the most adorable baby girl I have seen!

The pregnacy wasn't an easy one, and neither was the birth, but now that she is with us, she was worth the wait and the pain of it all.

ahaha I can't believe my sister is a mother. She was probably the one we least suspected to have a baby first XD

Unfortunetly, I haven't met her yet. Living and working away from my family, makes it hard, but in 2 days I will be spending 3whole days with her and my sister, whom I am so proud of.

She is going to be one spoiled little girl, she already is and she has only been here with us for 1 day ahaha.
I am very happy be an aunt. Can't wait to start to spoil her.
I am the crazy aunt! ahahah Don't mind if I do!

I'm so happy that she is also an Halloween baby, so fitting with our family!
And I can't wait until we drag her to a Kanjani8 concert (might have to start with Heysayjump or sexy zone ahahah).
She's a little eito baby!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


The weather is finally getting cooler. Last week I was in shorts and tshirt which is very weird in Canada at this time of year. But today it is cold. Cold enough to wear a small jacket and maybe a scarf.

Which means : Halloween is coming!

Falls (or Autumn) is my favorit season. I like the weather, even if it rains a lot. It's not too cold and not too warm.
We get to wear comfy clothes and eat comfort foods.
The air is crips and smells like the dead leaves paving our streets in reds, yellows and browns.
So beautiful!
Then by the end, just before winter arrives, we have Halloween!
My favorit holiday!

Kids and grown up gets to dress up as anything they fancy.
Imagination takes over reality, as houses are decorated in order to scare you or welcome you for free candy.
Superheros, Princesses, witches, monsters and many more are running around town at night.
With candels burning inside pumpkins with faces.
It's one of those time a year where it's ok to be up past sunset as a kid, eat lots of candy and run around knocking at stranger's houses.

What's not to love?

I may add that I always had a bit a taste for the macabre too (look where it has lead me!)
So every year, I want things to get scarier. Be it my costumes, or make-up or pumpkin and decorations.
For me, Halloween is suppose to be be scary...not funny, not cute, not sexy....but morbid, bloody, decomposing scary!
every year, I had a small horror movie marathon on my own.
Hands out candy until 8pm, put a sign up saying " no more candy"' at the door, curl up on the couch with the left over candy and watch a good old horror movie! lol

This year I was told that our town doesn't really celebrate Halloween. That most kids don't go door to door..It made me sad, but my coworker said he would come to my door with his daughters just for me! It's gonna be their first halloween too (2yrs and 10 months). So now i'm happy. I'll make them some cupcakes just for them!

So what do you like about Halloween?
Are you planning to dress up, if so as what?
What do you normally do on Halloween?
Which is your favorit season and why?

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Meet Ozzy-chan!

Today has been a month since I got my new roommate : Ozzy-chan!

now please don't get confused, she is not named after the british rockstar Ozzy Osbourn....but
after the loveing village drunk in Kisarazu Cat's eye!

I found her on kijiji, she is a 9 years old calico cat. Her name was Chloe at first...but i really dont like that name ahaha so i changed it to Ozzy.

Why Ozzy?
Well in the japanese drama ; Kisarazu Cat's eye : Ozzy loves to wake up in the morning when the sun rises and shouts "ASA DAYO!!!" (it's morning!!)...My Ozzy-chan, likes to wake me up every morning when the sun rises with a bunch of meows.
Also, just like Cat's eye's Ozzy, who often stumbles when he's drunk...Ozzy-chan tends to stumbles as soon as you started scratching her head.
And finally, just like Cat's Eye's Ozzy, who loves to follow around Bussan and the other boys, Ozzy-chan loves to follow me around (or anyone for that matter) and just hang out and feel part of the gang.

So there you have it!
Ozzy-chan my new roommate.
She is sweet, loving, talkative and cuddly.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Internship woe!

Back in March, I got an interview with a Funeral home in Ottawa.
I was very excited mostly because I was one of the few in my class who didn't have an internship and the school year end was approaching quickly.

During the march break, i made my way to Ottawa and met up with the Funeral director at that place. The interview went smoothly and I got them to hint on the fact that they wanted to hire me.
I was thrill, but just like any other jobs, they had other candidates.
I waited a couple of weeks and then called to see how things were going. Unfortunetly, the boss wasn't there, he had left on vacation and would be back only by the end of the month.
So I waited some more.
Meanwhile, my class and I went on a field trip in Toronto.
Where we visited this company that takes care of all the international shipping and receiving of bodies and funerals for the canadian army. It was very interesting, they mainly focused on the embalming part, and dealt with all the funerals for the Army.
 It had everything i was hoping for in a job.
Since I am more interested in the embalming aspect and I love to travel and meet people from different country ; this job had it all.
Unfortunetly, my dream job wasn't taking interns.

At the end of March, I finally got hold of the boss from my Ottawa interview. Only for him to go on and on about how much he liked me and how much I would be a great asset to their company. BUT they couldn't afford to take on an intern for the year. I was devastated, my only hope was gone. We had 20 days left until the end of the school year, 1 month until internship had to start.
I was just about ready to give up.

I then received an email saying that the place of my dream job was now accepting resume from interns! I was sooooo excited, and applied withing the first 30 minutes of getting that email. The next day, I got an email from them saying they were very interested on meeting me and asking when I could go to Toronto for in interview. I told them, that I was starting my exam week , but I was free on the weekends to meet up with them. And I replies back. I was ready to give up....again.

Then we went to visit this funeral home in SF, and my teacher put in the word that I was still looking for an internship. The boss of SF said he would be willing to take in an intern but he was a bit apprehensive because he had had bad luck with previous interns.
I contacted him and on my last day of exam, I met up with him and he offered me the internship.
Not having anywhere else to go, i accepted right away. Afterall, the internship would be in a small town only 2 hrs and half from home, in a french community. And there would only be 3 funeral directors including myself, so lots of room for learning.

I went home for 2 weeks, and spent time with my family before moving up to SF. On that same day of my interview, I went and saw 2 appartments and choosed my future home. A nice 2 bedroom appart. only 2 minutes away from work. Everything was falling into places.

then a few days before moving, i received an email from my dream job saying that they wanted to see me on the weekend for an interview. I was sad to email them back saying I had taken up an offer already and was about to move.I told them, that once I have my license, i may re-applied to them because i was still interested on working there in the future.
They replied back immediately saying how disappointed they were in themselves for waiting so long before contacting me. They wanted to wait before meeting me, so that I could concentrate on my final exams and now they couldn't help but see that they missed out on a big oppurtunity because I seemed like the perfect candidate. And they urged me to please re-apply in the future.

It was a bit bittersweet, because I wanted that job so bad. It was THE dream job for me...but I had to pass it for now.

Now it's been a month since I started my internship in SF and I'm loving it!
There is only 5 employees (including myself) and they are all great.
I am threated like an employee and not an intern.
My boss is very strict though and a bit scary at times. But he is also very good at what he does and I feel like i'm learning a lot from him.
He trusts me and let me do things wihtout constently supervising me.
After only 6 labs, I was left alone to to embalming from beginning to the end. I am also known as the cosmetic lady (since i'm the only girl there and the only one who seem to know how to do hair and make up).
I'm not always sure if i'm doing a good job or if i'm just running around like a headless chicken....but sometimes, my boss tells me how appreciated my work is and how good i'm doing, so that feels good (more like a relief).
I like the town, it's small, friendly, has everything you need within walking distance and it's all in french. Everyone is bilingual, but everyone speaks french mostly ahaha.
I am thinking on joining a choir in september (they stop for the summer). Things are good.
I love my appartment, it's big enough to have people over, but small enough for 1 person to not feel lost in a big house. I'm good.
I still don't know anyone here, but it's ok. I don't feel alone lol.

So things are working out well.
I love my job. It's a lot of work and my feet are killing me at the end of the day but I wake up in the morning happy to go to work.
11 more months to go in my internship!!!

Fundraiser for Japan!

On March 11, 2011 a huge earthquake hit the coast of Japan, followed by a tsunami that destroyed towns completly. Soon after, Fukushima was strucked with a nuclear disaster as the nuclearplants got damages by the earthquake.

3 months later, Japan is still trying to recover from all the lost and damages caused on that day and they still have many more months/years to fully recover.

I was pretty shocked when I heard the news (at 6am from a text message from my sister).
Being a poor student, I felt powerless to help a country that I love.
Having lived and traveled in Japan, I came to make it as my second home country. I wanted to give, but all i could do was donate 5$ to the Red cross...which is not enough.

My sister came up to me with a great idea : A fundraiser!
She came up with the idea of selling "Tsuru" origami paper cranes for 1$.
In Japan, the tsuru represent Hope and dreams.
When you fold 1000 tsuru, your wish will come true.

I remember when I visited the Children Peace memorial in Hiroshima the summer before. All those garlands of tsuru made and given by children from around the world wishing for Peace, Better health, Hope ect...

I thought it was a great idea. So i approached the coordinator of my program to ask if I could do the fundraiser at school. He then approached the person in charge of money for the school and I got the green light.

With the help of a couple of friends, every day for 2 weeks, I sat in the hallways of my college folding tsuru that people would buy.
All the money would be later on donated to Red Cross society and all the Tsuru would be sent to the Memorial park on Hiroshima.

So for every dollar that people gave me, I folded a tsuru.
In the end, We ended up making 500$ / 500 tsuru!

Just a few days before school ended, my 2 teachers and I went to the office and gave the money to the school who then wrote us a check accordingly. We then proceeded to go to the Red Cross's main office in Sudbury and donated the 500$ check on behalf of all the students and teachers of College Boreal.

I got to hold on to one of those giant check and get my picture taken with it. We also got a frame with the Red cross logo and saying we donated to the Japan Tsunami relief fund (which i decided to let the school hold on to it, since It was everyone from the school who participated and not just I).

Right now I have all the tsuru in a shoe box ready to go to Hiroshima. Next year I am planning on going to Japan, so I will wait until then to send them. (It will be cheaper to mail them from within the country).

Thanks for everyone who donated!

Justin Bieber's head

In my Restauration class, we were asked to re-create a full head out of wax.
How is that useful for us?

Well sometimes, we get bodies that have been in accidents, lost a nose or an ear, or got disfigured....and as much as having a casket closed in those occasion seems like "common sense" to us non-grieving folks, most of the time, grieving families want to see their loved one, one last time.

That's where the wax head comes in.
We have to be able to recreate facial structures as good as possible.

So our teacher wanted us to do as our final project, a full wax head. This way, we would learn about symetry, proportions and all that jazz.

Every year, they pick who ever is famous that year and they alternate between male and female. (last year they did Lady Gaga) So we got Justin Bieber. (wouldn't have been any of my choices, but oh well)

In picture, here's the progress of my head.....unfortunetly, I never asked the teacher what was my final mark on that project, so I don't know if I did well or not...but I did get 91% in that class as a whole. So i'm guessing, I wasn't too bad.

 First we get a plastic skull and add on the wax. Using a basic photograph you add the wax at the places where you need "skin" and try to shape it into the right proportion.

 Started off with the ears. Just did basic normal ears, since I couldn't see Bieb's ears from the picture. The difficult part was to make two mirrored ears from the same size.

Starts to shape the facial structures. Add the nose to have a central point to go from. (note : the nose is the part that will change the most throughout the process, simply to adjust to all the facial structure added later on.)

I found a bunch of pictures of Justin , from different angles. That was very useful since we have to work in 3D.
You take one part at the time and work on it, then you blend it with what you already have done...then you work on another part and then blend that one in...ect...often I had to go re-work a part because it didn't fit anymore with the rest. It's a lot of work, but I must have put under 7hrs on it in total. I would put a plastic bag to cover it so the wax wouldn't get too hard.. If the wax got too hot, it would melt and get sticky. So i couldn't work on it for too long at the time, my hands would be too warm and melt the wax. At the end, I drew in the eyebrows for fun, but for the final projet, I smoothed those out coz normally you would use fake hair. 

This is the final product. I'm happy with it, but i was also sick of it, so i decided to leave it as is. The most difficult part was probably to smooth out the surface so there wouldn't be bumps and lines all over.
It's pretty rare we would get to do a full head in our job....but it was a good exercise on how to do lips, nose, eyes, ears, cheeks...ect I'm hoping I wont get to do a full on face in the future, because it is a lot of work!!!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Catch up!

Woah the last 2 months have been sorta crazy!
I had to finalized all my school projects, including a Justin Bieber's head reconstruction out of wax.
I had to write my final exams while organizing a Fundraiser for Japan Tsunami's victims from March 11th.
Then I had to pack everything and moved back home once school was then pack even more to moved to my new town.
I got a job offer for my internship in Ottawa in March, but it felt through....Then got another offer in late april (just before exam time) In Sturgeon Falls (near North Bay)...and another possible offer in Toronto.
Finished my exams, and drove to SF, accepted the offer, visted 2 appartments. Choose 1 of the two. Drove back home. packed everything like I said...then moved to SF.
I arrived on Friday in my new appartment. now it's sunday and i'm almost done unpacking everything.

So i will make more detailed blog posts about Justin's head, the fundraiser, school, the job hunt and the new appartment in the next couple of weeks.

Right now i need me some food!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Japan- Tsunami March 11 2011

A Horrible thing happened this Friday in Japan.
An earthquake of M.8.9 followed by a tsunami has hit the coast of Sendai, Japan.

Chaos happened everywhere.

I woke up around 15 to 7am from a text message from my sister saying Japan had been hit by a tsunami, but our friends were o.k....still I woke up in a panick!

See, I lived in Japan for just about 2 years, and I made a lot of friends, and Japan became a second home for me. I Love Japan and its people. Japan holds a place very dear in my heart...So i was pretty shocked at what was happening.


I went on facebook and twitter right away to make sure everyone I knew was O.K. just to double check...and they were...except, one of my Japanese friend's family was m.i.a in Sosa, in the region of Chiba, because of an electricity shortage. It took almost 20hrs but we finally got concreet news that they were all fine, but without electricity and water and pretty shook-up.

I had classes this morning, but I brought my laptop and kept the Live streaming playing while taking notes in class. The images were horrifying in Sendai and the surrounding.  I felt confused and scared all day. Because something I love so much was being destroyed and I knew it would never be the same again.
I can't imagine being there in person, like most of my friends are. The confusion and chaos must have been horrible and scary....I was scared and I was thousand miles away.

Of course, thinking about all my idols was also something that hit me once I knew my friends were fine. Were they fine too? Some had been reported with injuries, others had their houses destroyed...and a few were reported missing. I didn't think, my fangirl's heart was this weak, because it did skipped a few beats when I was trying to find out if everyone i liked were fine.  Lots of rumours going around, so it was hard to make sense of it all. In some places, some are being confirmed as being safe...and in other places they are reported missing. In some places, all of Kanjani8 are safe...but in other places when they list everyone by names and not groupes :Maru, Baru, Yasu and Hina aren't accounted for.What to trust? Even now, some are still "unconfirmed". So, now I am just hoping everyone is safe and in a few days we should be able to know everything more clearly. Let the chaos and confusion go by and we'll get better answers.

I was a bit surprised at how I reacted toward my idols. Sure I love them all, but I didn't think I would worry so much about people I don't know in real life. And I even worried about others that I never considered myself a fan off....I guess they have touched a part of me deeper then I thought, and also, even if I don't know them personally, they are still humain beings in the middle of a catastrophee. So It is ok to worry about them. That's why I am a fan.

But just like my idols, I worry about everyone in Japan, even if I don't know them. I wish them a speedy recovery. I wish them to be strong during the next few months as Japan will try to rebuilt itself. I wish them confort with the ones they love, and the ones they lost. Be safe! Be Strong!

This is another horrible tragedy that has hit our world; another tragedy that proves how united we can be if we work together!

Anyone reading this, please donate to this cause..please donate to any other causes that will come in the future.
If you are in Canada, you can text RED CROSS to 30333 to donate 10$. In the USA it's RED CROSS to  90999.
If you don't have the money, go donate blood. It's free and it can save lives!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Happy Rabbit Year 2011

Hope you all have a relaxing year!

"According to Chinese tradition, the Rabbit brings a year in which you can catch your breath and calm your nerves. It is a time for negotiation. Don't try to force issues, because if you do you will ultimately fail. To gain the greatest benefits from this time, focus on home, family, security, diplomacy, and your relationships with women and children. Make it a goal to create a safe, peaceful lifestyle, so you will be able to calmly deal with any problem that may arise."

It is the year where you wishes will come true!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Green Funerals

For the past 5-8 years or so, people have started to be obsess with being "Eco friendly".
Therefore a new trend as started in the Funeral business; it's called "Green Funerals".
Although it is not highly popular in North America (slowly catching on), it was first really made public in the U.K.
With memorial parks sacredly guarded for green funeral purposes only.
A green funeral is usually considered being the best way to go for the environment; but that classify itself as being : No embalmings, no caskets, no preservation of cemetaries.

All that is very good. The embalming fluids we use in order to preserve, desinfect and restaur a body can be quite harmful...not only for the Director inhaling those fumes while embalming, but also after death, once the body has been placed to rest in the ground and starts decomposing, thus releasing the chemicals in our soils.
Now, let's not get into details about those heavily varnish and metal studded coffins that takes just as long to decompose and all the pesticides and herbicides used in order to keep the grass green back at the top on the earth in the cemetaries....
With time, all this will take a tole on the earth and the people, the livings, who are still going about their every day lives.

So most people will opt for the inceneration's cheaper and better for the environment....or is it?

When a body is being incinerated, it releases more gas then anything else. Most of it comes from the body itself but also from the fossid fuels used in order to create such a powerful heat source...and that doesn't include the embalming fluids if the body had been embalm too.
Urns don't take as much places and most of them are made of materials that wont ever disintegrate, but really, why? Aren't ashes a natural thing that should return to the earth? "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust" So why prevent such a natural process?.
Beside most urns are no longer burried in the ground, but places in mausaleums (little appartements for urns).

Yes, inceneration is friendly-er then embalming...but it's not all that.

So with a society obess about being Eco friendly, I say might as well be Eco friendly all the way, and that means 6 feet unders and beyond de graves.

But really, not that many people wants to be put in the ground wrapped up in a shrud...i understand that.

So that's when I came across a pamphlet about a company in Montreal that understands the terms of being Eco Friendly.

They make urns and (soon enough)  wooven caskets out of bamboo.
Bamboo is part of the grass family and it takes only 4 to 6 years to re-grow (faster then 50 to 150years).
It is renewable and must stable and harder then red oak or maple.
Also, it releases 35% more oxygene in the air and absorbe 8 times more CO2.

So you can be incinerated and placed in a Bamboo urn that will allow to return back into the earth safely with time. You can be burried in a wooven bamboo casket instead of just a shrud. 100% ecological.

How awesome is that? No more hard precious woods and metals or varnish and paints put in the ground.
I think it's pretty awesome!
And also the urns and casket are very pretty to look at . Helps save a few trees if you ask me!
Green Funerals has just gotten prettier. No more just puting the body in the ground. You can still have a casket, and one that wont harm the environment at that!

Now if we can find embalming fluids that wont harm the earth....

Saturday, January 22, 2011


Finding a place to do my internship has proven to be more difficult then I thought.
The problem I realized was that my school, still being fairly new, is not yet known in the industry.
So when people see "College Boréal - Funeral Directing" they go "wwwhhhhaaatttt"
In ontario there are only 2 school giving that program : my school and Humber in Toronto.
My school is in french, Humber is in English.
the french school for my program that people normally go for is the one in Montréal.

So with all that, most people don't even know or heard about my school.
So here I am trying to find an internship, fighting against all the students at Humber trying to find their internship.
Most funeral homes will think "hmm student from Boréal which i never heard about, or a student from the school I graduated from....Humber it is"

Over the past month, I had been sending my résumé to over 35 Funeral homes in the GTA region and beyond and half of them came back to me with either "we are not taking interns this year" or " we already have our interns for the year". or simply, no replies at all. (only three wished me good luck in finding a place, and 2 welcomed me to this business, and 1 said they were going to keep my résumé for the future).

I'm the only one in my class who is also from the Toronto region, everyone else, are from the Ottawa region or Québec. and out of 13 students, 9 secured their internship. So I was starting to worry.

With all that, on thursday, our teacher informed us that he received an email from a funeral home in the region of Ottawa looking for interns. Quickly I sent my résumé over and not even 30 miniutes later, I got a reply back saying they were interested on speaking with me and they would get back to me.
The next day, I received a phone call from them and we engaged into a phone interview.
45 minutes later, we made plans for a face-to-face interview over my march break.
They seemed to really like me :-)

So on march 1st (tuesday) I will be meeting with them, and hopefully securing the intern post with them.
The funeral home is only at 30 minutes away from my cousin's house, so if all goes well, I will be staying with her over the spend of my internship.

I'm very excited about this!
Sure I would have loved to stay closer to home, but Ottawa isn't so bad. I know people there.
I am a bit nervous because I have to wait another moth before I know for sure if i have the post.
I also know, that another guy in my program sent his résumé there, so technically he's my rival.
But between you and I.....I have better chances then him ahahah

but eventhough...i'm keeping my finger crossed...please keep yours crossed too!

Now I will leave you with some wicked Hursts (corbillard)

For those bikers

that's just a  really ugly pick-up truck

ok it's not a hurst, but the guy turned the coffin into a car ahahaha

fancy mercedes hurst

I'm afraid of no a funeral director you can't be!

old school! that's what I want ahaha

another variation for the bikers

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

If you were stuck on a deserted island for the rest of your life....

What mix-CD would you bring (15 songs total).

It cannot all be from the same artist (hence the word "mix")

and why do you choose those songs (remember, these are the last 15 songs you will be listening to for the rest of your life!)

P.S this is a project i have to do for one of my class (music through the ages) and I only have 13 songs picked and i keep changing them lol

but i was wondering what you guys might pick.

Monday, January 3, 2011

2nd Semester!

Tomorrow will be the start to my second semester into my program.
Above you can see the marks I got for the first semester...not bad eh?
I have to admit that I am very proud of myself, then again, there is nothing else to do in Residence but to study (or party..but I don't party).
I'm actually very surprised by my 90% mark....I was very stressing out about the final exam in that class, mainly because I had realized (once i have turned my exam in) that I had made a  huge mistake in the question that was worth the most point. I guess I must have done well on the rest of the exam and throughout the year.
The last 3 classes on that list, were more like general classes, so I admit I didn't really focus all that much on them, but I didn't do too bad either.
I'm not surprised with my biology mark, the exam was extremly difficult. It was all multiple choices but 80% of the exam's questions were about things we hadn't learned (or told by the teacher to "not worry it wont be on the final exam") So i was expecting a lower mark.

Tomorrow is a half day.
We will all be meeting in our "homeroom" classes for registrations and to have a little talk about what's ahead of us.
Then Wednesday is the first day of class.

here's my schedule:

monday: 8:30am to 11:30 -Physiopatholigy \\ 11:30 to 1:30pm - Embalming Theory 2 // 1:30 to 4:30pm- Musics from the 1940's to present \\ 6pm to 8pm - Microbiology
Tuesday: 8:30am to 11:30am - Intro to Business \\ 11:30 to 1:30pm - Embalming theory2
Wednesday: 8:30am to 11:30am - English \\ 11:30am to 1:30pm - Orientation to Funeral Services 2
Thursday: 8:30 to 11:30 : The Art of Restauration
Friday- 8:30am to 11:30 - Orientation to Funeral Services 2 \\ 11:30 to 1:30pm: Psychology for Mourning

So i start my days at 8:30am and usually finish at 1:30pm. The reason for that, is we are "on call"  for practical embalmings (labs). The class is divided into 4 groups, so each day, a different group is on call to go in a funeral home and do an embalming.
Monday is my biggest day!!!
We have to pick an extra class of choice (the choices were : Sexuality, Being Franco-Ontarien or Music through the ages) I picked the music class since I have somewhat a background in music (Musical performing, which was a big part of the 1940-1950's) and I also thought that i needed a fun class for my Monday and the 2 other classes offered weren't gonna cut it lol.

I guess i\ll be making *Bento boxes on sunday night!!!!

I'm looking forward to the Art of Restauration class! That's where we will learn to apply make-up, do hair and to restaure any facial structures. Sooooo looking forward to that!! you know me and arts = <3

I'm looking forward to this semester. Only 4 months left of school work and then I can go back home and start my 1 year intership. **Ganbarimasu!!!

Side note: During the holiday, I received a letter from the Dean of Health and Science department, congradulating me on my high marks. It was a letter of "High recognitions for being in the top of my program"...i'm such a keener! ahaha

*Bento : Japanese lunch boxes
**Ganbarimasu : I'll do my best // I'll work hard  in Japanese.