Monday, December 22, 2014

Another Year as gone by! Bye bye 2014

Wooo! What a year! Lot's of ups and Down...but mostly downs.
But I made it through another year!

Bye Bye 2014, Hello 2015!

This year, I moved back home to be close to my family and for their support after my burn out. I started a new job that, at first, seemed to have been a great opportunity, but ended up being "another experience" under my belt. I was laid off from said job after 10 months, and since I have been on unemployment.

My mental state got worse at the beginning of the year, up to my "laid off" period.  But i'm still here and still going strong (or at least trying to be strong).

I'm not going to go in detail about my depression and anxiety, I have made plenty of post about that in the past. This time, I want to be possitive. End the year in a Possitive note.

Going on Unemployment has opened my eyes to new opportunities. As much as I loved my job (for the most part), I think a change is in order. I am planning on returning to school and studying Childhood Education. I have always been good with children (some may say i am wonderful with them) and in the past, when I worked with kids, I didn't feel this overwhelmed sensation of anxiety everyday. So maybe, with the proper trainning, I have a (more relaxed) future working with children in the education environment.

I have also started seeing a Psychiatric. I know, this is a scary word. Usually people of who sees a Psy, they have major mental problems....well I'm one of them and I'm thankful to have someone willing to help me find out what is wrong with me and how to fix my brain. So after our first appointment, he was able to diagnose me with 4 possible illness. I am doing different tests right now, to try and rule out the ones that aren't and pin point the ones that are. So that I can start treatment for the proper thing. One of the diagnose is unfinished grieving from my father's death 15 years ago. He thinks, I might still be stuck in the depression stage of my grieving and never was able to move on from it. Make sense, when you think about it. For that, I am signed up for group therapy, just waiting for the sessions to start at the moment.

At the moment, with all the free time I have, I have been helping my sister with her kids. Since she is doing her PHD and has to be at University some days, I take care of my niece and nephew and I enjoy it. It is exhausting though. I can't see myself having kids anytime soon ahahahah. I love other people's kids, don't get me wrong, but as for me, I think I will be quite happy with a house with cats, dogs and reptiles ahahah.

I am lucky to have such a great supporting family. Sometimes, I feel like such a disappointment. but they still hang around and try to help me. I'm grateful for that. I promise i will get my sh*t together one day ahaha.

For the next year, I don't know what's going to happend. I will keep up with my therapy, helping my sister out with the kids and looking forward of starting my new program in school. In February, I will be going with my sister's to Florida for her conference. I'm basically the Nanny. I am looking forward of spending time with the kids down there, while my sister is doing conference stuff lol. We planned on going to the Zoo and perhaps the beach too (we wont be anywhere close to Orlando, so disney is a no go. Beside the kids are too young for that). We will be driving with 2 toddlers ahahah should be interesting (19 hrs!!)

I would also like to go back to Florida (Orlando this time) with my cousin to go visit Hogwarts at universal. I have travel points saved up, so that would help to pay for half of the trip...but it is still just talk right now. But we'll see.

Well that's all for me. 2012 was difficult, 2013 was harder and 2014 was really 2015 can't be any worse!

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!