100 days

Hello, I thought I would update you all on my journey.

I realized that tomorrow will mark my 100th day since I started my weight loss.

It seems like forever ago, but really it isn't.

So far I have lost a total of 25 pounds. Which breaks it down to about an average of 1.5-2lbs a week. I think that is reasonnable. I am still in the phase 1 of my diet (eventhough I have reached my 10% goal, i still need to get my BMI between 30-35...right now I sit at 38). I remember struggling the first 3 weeks. Man, it was hard and depressing...now, not so much. I have taken use to eating salads and chicken everyday ahahahah.
But seriously, lately I haven't been as strick as I should be. I have gave in into some cravings. With the nice weather and  happiness around the corner, I have indulged a couple of times to some bad habits. I didn't feel so much regrets after, but I did realized that the food that I used to love, that I still idolized in my head, doesn't taste as good as I remember. More of a "meh!" moment after eating it....which then removes that craving and I keep going about my day.
Here's a few things I have eaten in the last 3 weeks, that isn't diet approved.
McDonald egg muffin - got sick after for 3 days, that's done!
Poutine - Was the most unsatisfied things I have ever ate in the last 100 days, total "MEH"
Tim Hortons Nutella donut - had to try it, as anyone who knows me I am a die-hard nutella fan....well it was way too sweet and gave my stomach a turn, so no thank you.
Bread - normal bread...ok I had 2 bites, but man that was good! granted my diet bread taste the same, so I wont go back to normal bread for a little while. Gotta keep those carbs low.
Fruits- So i know they are in my phase 2 of my diet, so it's not so much a big no-no, so i don't feel guilty about it, but I don't indulge in it either.

So i think that's about it. It's not too bad to be honest. There might be a couple of other things were I had a bite or two, but when I know it's not Diet Approve, I don't go crazy on it and I am able to control myself...so that's a good start.

Now my biggest problem, is working out. I am having such a hard time to find the time or commitment to work out. Now that the nice weather is here, it is a bit easier...but still. I'm sorta waiting to see my summer schedule with work (when the school will close, I will only be working at the daycare, but I don't know what my hours are) so I am thinking of joinning the YMCA and work out with my sister during my breaks. Also I am planning on spending lots of time in the pool. I know if I work out, the weight will fall off quicker and easier, but it is sooooo hard ahahhaah

As for my Therapy, it's going very well. The group therapy is turning out to be very useful. I am learning a lot of skills on how to cope with anxiety and I have put some of them in practice too. Today, in my private session, my therapist suggested that I start making a structure life. Set specific times for myself to relax and calm my brain (aka Meditation). We practice a lot of Mindfullness meditation, and I find it to be very usefull. So I decided to clear out my bedroom and set a place where I can practice my meditation. I think by having a spot specific to it, will help me practice more on a daily basic.
I now have a work routine, but in order to help my anxiety, I need to create a routine for my personal life.
Structuring my life like this, will be much better I think. Working out and Meditation is in the process right now.

Overall, I feel much happier and less stressed out. I am starting to have the taste of returning to the things I used to love. I am painting more, I am singing more. I restarted listening to Kanjani8, I go out more, I have friends ect. I still have work to do, but I am feeling better.

I recently registered myself with the Ontario College of Trades, and I am registering to school in order to get my ECE certification. I do think as of right now, I made the right choice to change career. But I am still not certain of renewing my Funeral Director license for next year. I really don't think i'll go back to this (at least not for a long while, beside it is 200$ to renew too)

So now you are up to date....a lot can happen in 100 days!

Day 23 of Weight loss

So I decided to talk a bit more in detail about my new Weight Loss Program.

On January 28, 2015, I started a Metabolic Diet. I had never heard of it, but my Psychiatric had recommended it to me (well he got me a referal). He said, that if I lost weight, I might feel more confident. Perhaps he is right, although I never really had issues with my weight (sure some days it sucks, and I hate shopping) I guess i had gotten used to being overweight.
So on the 28, I made my way to the clinic.
The nurse greeted me and brought me in a back room where she took my blood pressure and weight me on this awesome scale. I say awesome because it gives full details on my body. The weight, the BMI, the Fat %, the Water %, the total Fat, Total water and lots of other things.
The after that i was brought in another room, where i met with the Doctor. He gave me a brochure that said "Metabolic MD, Phase 1" and explained to me that there is 3 phases.

I started at 243lbs (i'm 5'3", so yeah....not good)

Phase 1 is the hardest because you are detoxing your body from sugar, salts, carbs..ect. You get your body into a "safe starvation" where it will start burning the excess fat in your body for energy rather then using the sugar intake and storing more fat. All I am allowed to eat in this Phase is Green Leafy vegetables (Lettuces, Spinash, Kales), Protein (Chicken, Meat, Fish), Lemon Juice, Water and Tea all I can eat, and then up to 4 cups of vegetables (no roots vegetables). Also i am allowed of 10-12 NET carbs per day. the NET carbs is basically the amount of Carbonhydrates minus Fibers minus Sugar Alcohols. Let me tell you, most food has over 30 Carbonhydrates...So not Easy. But I get to be on Phase 1 until I reach 10% of my weight. In my case 24lbs! Now it is important to NOT cheat in this Phase, because if you do, you are basically starting over. It takes about 7 days for your body to understand that you are not starving and that you have sufficient energy to burn within you. But if you cheat, it goes into "omg i'm starving..better stock up this fat".

Phase 2, you start introducing more food. Like certain fruits and certain grains. You stay on this Phase until you reach your ideal weight (I'm aiming for 150lbs, I don't want to be skinny, I like my curves)

Then Phase 3, you introduce more food and also learn how to maintain your weight.

Oh and throughout those phases, you are subject to random pee test lol
Also, if you fail to follow the program, you will get kicked out of it. I mean, it is covered by OHIP so, they are not gonna pay for someone who isn't serious about it.

Now it is 23 days since I started this program and I have lost a total of 14lbs....so 10 more pounds to go until I reach Phase 2.

After doing research, It pretty much looks a lot like Atkins Diet...but perhaps more strick.

My Psychiatric told me that he has seen a lot of success with this place, people losing 20-30 lbs the first month and people losing over 70lbs in a year. I didn't really believe it, but today at my weigh-in, I met this girl (maybe a bit older then me) who lost over 70lbs in the last year and she looked Fabulous!! (maybe 125lbs now), so it gives me hope that this girl can be me by next year!

Things I have noticed since losing weight.

I have Weird dreams! mostly all about food. Pizza, Mcdonalds, Poutine, Fettucinnis...ect you name it!!! I miss SALT!!!! not so much the sugar, but man I miss puting salt on my food...but that's a big no (retains water).
I can see my collar bone!!! and my cheeks are not as puffy anymore. I look less Round face and more Oval lol
I have a definition between my stomach and Boobs...that's a good thing!
I have lost about 2-3 inches on my hips, so my pants fit better. When i sit for a long time, the button doesn
My mom and sister say they can see a waiste on me!

The first 2 weeks were brutal! coming from someone who never ate salads, to eating it 3 times a day...it was tough. But this week was better. I'm finding things I can eat (granted I have to go to special low carbs groceries), i'm starting to have more energy too.

Next week i'm off to Florida. So the doctor said that if I have trouble eating on the road or eating out, I can always go on Phase 3. Which will make me stay on my current weight rather then gainning some or starving. Now I don't intend on touching too much of Phase 3 foods. I will try to stick to my Phase 1 list and in case of emergency, maybe eat some foods from Phase 3. I don't know, I plan on losing my 10lbs during the vacation, since we will be walking alot, I am hoping that will help me.

So this is what I have been eating lately lol. This is not recommended for everyone! (although my mom is doing it with me as a way to support me, although she is not as strick, she still eats fruits and some salts, but she is not being followed by a doctor, so this is better for her). This Diet really is a last chance weight lost for overweight people (often used to lose weight for sugery, or alternative before you go for a bypass or lipo).
I may not have looked like it, but I am obese (if not morbidly obese) with a BMI at 44 (now 40, mind you). I had to do this. My father was diabetic, I didn't want to end up like that or worse, get a stroke in my 30's.

Once I return from Florida, I will consider restarting Insanity Workout! Now that i getting more energy and not feeling as dizzy anymore. I think my body finally realized that I have plenty of reserves to use lol.

Rebooting myself

Being unemployed has given me a lot of free time...but yet, I feel like I am busier (more busy)  then before. That's because I am busy. I am doing a lot of things with my free time. Aside from driving my mom to her physio appointments, I am rebooting myself.

Now is the time to do it.

Since October I have been seeing a Psychiatric to diagnose what's going on in my mind. I am also seeing a therapist to find tools to work on my anxiety probelms. Recently i started working out. I am doing Insanity Max 30, 5 times a week. It is difficult, but it is fun! I am already seeing progress after only a week. If you don't know anything about the program Insanity by BeachBody, I suggest you look it up. It is by far the best program of workout (no tools needed, only your body) and gives amazing results! (I have witnessed it with people I know, not just internet people lol)

Yesterday, I had my first appointment at a Medical Weight Loss Clinic. The Weight loss is similar to Bernstein's Diet or Atkins. It is a low-carb diet in 3 Phases. Phase 1 is mostly Green Vegetables and Proteins. Eliminating Almost (if not all) Carbs, Sugars and Salts. Then when I reach a weight loss of 24lbs, I will start Phase 2, that will reintroduce some components. Then when i reach my ideal weight, I will be going on Phase 3, which teaches you to maintain your weight. It is a very strick diet, specially Phase 1. It is teaching my body to stop using Carbs and Sugars as my main source of Energy and instead use the stored fats as my main source of energy. It teaches my body that, no I am not in a starvation mode. I have everything I need in me already. Then it will know that it doesn't need to store for much fats each time i eat.

Anyways, that's what I gathered so far. So today is Day 1. Started off my day with a good old Protein Shake. For lunch I will enjoy a big old Salad with some protein in it and for Dinner I need 1/3 Protein, 1/3 Green Leaves and 1/3 Fresh Vegetables.....Like I said, it's not going to be easy lol.

So with all these changes, i am taking care of my mind and body. I have the time to do it and surprisingly, it doesn't cost me anything! Did you know that we have a pretty good systeme for mental health care? All you need is a referal from your family doctor. Once I got that, OHIP covered my sessions with the Psychiatric, which then refers me to a Therapist (also covered), which then send me to a Weight loss clinic (also covered), which then send me to a Sleep Clinic (also covered)...All this together, will help me find myself and get better and live a normal life! All I had to do is Ask. There is help available for everyone who needs it, you just need to be open about it and determined to get better.

If you need help, it's there for you! If you don't know where to start or don't have a family Doctor, check this place out Ontario Mental Health Assosiation  (if you are outside of Ontario, search within your provice for Mental Health Assosiation) Or if you just wanna talk, I'm here, just drop me an email or Facebook message or write your email below in the comments and I'll contact you.

I am possitive that losing my job in October was a sign to get better. Now that I have the time, I will take care of myself (instead of focusing on others).  And I have all the support I need to do it. All I had to do was Ask!