Thursday, December 8, 2011

On the fence

I have until January to make a decision if i will be staying with my current job.
I'm on the fence.

Some days i'm like "Let's start packing" and others are like "maybe I can tough it one more year".

The pro facts are :
  • I have a great job that I enjoy. 
  • The staff is really nice and we all get along.
  • In the long run, I might have a chance of taking over the business.
  • I work and live mostly in French which is nice.

The against fatcs are :
  • I hate Sturgeon falls, it is a retirement town.
  • I have no friends or life here (and I have tried)
  • My family is close but yet too far to just see them when I feel like it. I miss them.
  • My job offers no benefits or assurance coverage.
  • The pay won't be as better as i thought because of the small intake we get, the boss can't pay all that much more for the staff.
  • Did i mention I hate living in a village?

I feel like my professional and personal life are at war, and I don't know what to do.
If i stay, I have a good job....but i'm miserable when I'm not at work.
But if I go, will I be able to find a job just a good AND be happy in my personal life?
It doesn't mean I can get both....but it doesn't mean I can't either.

I keep thinking that I want to go back home (Barrie) because that's where my family is and a couple of friends. It's a big enough town that I can do things if i wanted too when I want too (at least stores don't close at 5pm there) and I can visit friends or family even after a day of work, even if it's for only an hour.
I could have someone to do things with rather then doing everything on my own all the time.
I have better chance of meeting someone that as graduated from highschool, heck from College at least and has better ambition and goals then going for a 4x4 drive in the mud.

I just feel like a recluse where I am now. I love going to work, but I dread going back home for fear of boredom and depression. I recently joined the gym and I have tried to make friends with some of the girls in the classes...but when I try to talk with them, it's as if they are afraid of talking to strangers and just shrug off my attempts to befriend them.Everyone my age are gone to bigger cities, the ones that stayed are welfare, 3 kids, alcool and drugs people.The ones I meet that are O.K, are too busy with their own life to try to include me and when we are together, we have nothing in common because they have never gotten out of the village, for them North Bay is a huge city and exotic food is pan pizza. I've tried to find common grounds, but I'm tired of getting blank stares if I talk about things beside farms, snow and sturgeon falls' poutine.
How am I suppose to date anyone, if all the guys left here have barely graduated from Highschool and spend half the year in the woods hunting (yuck!)
I feel rather lonely here...but i'm happy at work.
But if i go back home, living cost will be bigger, work will be longer (bigger city, more calls) will I find a job that I enjoy as much or be stuck with people I hate working with?

So i have to give an answer on whether I will be staying or not in June.
Am I willing to sacrifice my good job in order to possibly escape depression and find another awesome job.

I was told People go through life hating their job, but I'm lucky  i have a job I love. To suck it up....

but that's the thing..I dread making the decision of staying any longer. I don't want to get sucked in into making my life here. Yes i love my job, but like I said....i'm lonely

should I just tough it up one more that more reasonable? Be a responsible adult, pay off my loan because the cost of living here is cheaper. Have the security of a job with people I already know. Won't have to relearn the ways things are done at a new place. take a easy way.

or should I just challenge myself of finding another suitable job. Perhaps move back home, or rent a crappy appartment in the city. Relearn the way of doing everything because they might do things differently. Meet new people and gain their trust. But have a life that doesn't revolve around work only.

I have to give my answer in 3 weeks.
Also if i am leaving, i need to start sending off my resume to other places in order to get considered for a job before they all hire interns.

I don't know anymore.
My voice of reason is just as confused as me...

The problem is that now I can't just run off to Japan to escape making decision about my future....i wish i could though.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Tuna's first visit!

On december 1st, my sister, her inlaws and my brand new niece came for a visit in Sturgeon Falls, where I live.
Since I live 3hrs away, I don't get to see her often, so I was very happy when they came.
We went for sushi, Tuna's first sushi experience lol
*btw Tuna is my niece's nickname

Then we went about in the village, mostly shopping at the only 2 shopping places we have : The bargain shop and Giant Tiger.

We finished the evening watching some Kanjani8 video and the 1st episode of Ikemen Desu ne (my sister hasn't seen it).

The sleep over to say ....difficult!
Tuna didn't want to sleep at all. She either too hot or too hungry.
she cried every half hour to be fed.
Not the best night!
We probably slept a whole 4 hrs.
We even went for a car ride at 1am to see if she would fall asleep...which she did, until we pulled back in my parking spot, then she woke up!
the next day, we went to North Bay Mall to do some Christmas shopping.
Then we said our goodbye since they had to hit the road back to Barrie.

It was a short visit, but it was good (minus the sleepless night....i love my sleep too much to have a kid now, i think).

She is getting so big fast! Next time i see her, might be for Christmas if the weather allows it!
She will be 2 months old by then!

Christmas is coming!

Well it's December 3rd.
On the 1st, we got hammered with a the first snow fall, all 20 cm!

On the 2nd it was the village's Santa Claus Parade.
It last 2 hrs, then everyone went down by the lake for fireworks.
Most cars in the parades where tractors with lights. Some of them had bonfires on their was kinda cool.

I joined a few of my collegue at the Funeral home where we had pizza for dinner and hot coco.
When the parade started, which goes by right infront of the funeral home, we all gathered at the front salon, where there is a huge window giving on the street.
So we watched the parade from the inside, by the christmas tree.
We also offered free hot coco to the people standing outside in the cold.

Then we all took the walk by the lake.

There was a huge bonfire and the new restaurant (who opened that very night) was giving out free hot dogs (but the line up was crazy! i swear the whole village was there!).
The fire works started around 830pm and lasted 1 hr.

It is officialy the Christmas season in the village now!

I have most of my Christmas shopping done.
I got something for my mom, Chris, my sister and Tristan.
I wanna get something small for my sister's inlaw family. But i don't know what.
It's just since they will be spending Christmas with us, I think i should get them something.
I thought of maybe a giftbasket with local foods in it. Cath?

My Christmas tree is done and the presents are wrapped.
Oh i need to get Ozzy-chan something too, since if the weather is not nice on Christmas weekend, I'm going to have to spend it alone with her. So i better get her something lol

Well that's about it.
Snow is here.
Santa came.
Presents are wrapped.
Hot coco is brewing.
Christmas is almost here!